Have
u ever felt the presence of the unknown around you in the form of a touch? A
touch on your hands , your feet, your face, which vanishes in mere seconds as
it comes? The feeling of the infinite being with you, near you, within you.
That angelic presence which can make you laugh, smile, be in awe, shed a tear
too, and wonder how can this miracle be possible or possibly be with you? How
the touch of a person can transform you for a moment in this universe? From a
woman to a mother, from a mother to a devotee.
As Helen Keller rightly put it “The
best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart”. Such is the beauty of a Baby's Touch.
The emotions of this feeling aren't covered by words. As I reflect
on my thoughts, I can't say I am "happy" or "excited" or
"blessed". I think the language has become obsolete when it comes to
feeling the feelings which exude from the world of your Baby’s touch. Our
language kind of oversimplifies the whole meaning of that feeling. As I get
engrossed in the upheaval of these emotions arising from such a touch
by my Baby girl, I make my own language of emotions, my own complicated hybrid
emotions which are an array of colors - light, dark, bright, pastels, like say
"the happiness that can go beyond the black hole of the universe" Or
"the disappointment of seeing another child taking away a toy from her
hand" Or I would like to show how "the intimations of mortality
brought by an ageing baby, from month to month" connects with the
"sadness of seeing her outgrown clothes and shoes". I would also like
to have a word for "the excitement of wearing a fresh dress knowing its
play time in the park" Or "the sadness inspired by her bath which is
just about to finish". I really wish to coin some of my own words to
express these feelings that take me to a different world of expression.
Anuj and I always wonder how can we capture these
"Touches", these "Feelings", these "Emotions"
that Vrinda evoke in us so skillfully as if she always knew her trade, right
from Day 1. The layers of emotions that get pealed each day by her
tend to wet our eyes more often than we had ever imagined. Can there be a process
of capturing these "giggles"? Is there a container in this world that
can hold her expression (of just this moment) forever?
And yes I am not talking about a camera capturing the
imagery. Neither am I pointing to a video feed. Reference is to the infinite
moments when she smiles and its connection to the feeling that I get when she
smiles that smile. I tend to imagine my own futuristic ways of somehow holding
on to these moments, and relive them like reality a few years down the line.
Like being able to see her laugh in her current voice and style, on her 10th
birthday, or keep intact her reaction to our ice cold hands on her face within
ourselves and feel it at some later date.
In an attempt at immortalizing her hand and feet
impressions, I have tried making something that happily adorns our living room
wall today. Every look at this frame makes me swoon in the feeling of holding
these tender beautiful cuddly cozy hands and feet :-)
The write up on the work for my little
girl goes like this… (Only thing uncomplicated about it)
As parents of such a lovely angelic baby, all we can do in
our reach, we are trying to do. Like clicking pictures, making videos. But the
best of all mediums is the medium reroute our heart that touches just not us,
but our souls too. And that medium is to Feel.. Is to Cherish.. Is to know.. Is
to remember.. Is to Keep and hold in our hearts… hold HER, her touch, her love,
her smiles, her anger, her laughs and cries, her sighs, her grins and all that
she is and does. And this can only be felt! It is unexplained!
