ABCDs OF A MOTHER

Vrinda, unaware of her mother's high expectations

 

When I sit back to think about the expectations my parents had from me, I know they were pretty low. As in, they didn’t want me to become a scientist, or a researcher or a doctor even. They probably knew where I will land – in retail. And this surely is low as per expectations. I am not trying to lower grounds for those who work in retail; it surely is a great place to be in. But not the number one choice of our parents- for their children.

When I think of what I want Vrinda to be or become, I can think of N number of things – a NATGEO photographer, a journalist, a Chef, a Fashion stylist, all this being on the low side of my expectations. At the higher grounds, I wish her to be a doctor, or an architect. My list of expectations ends here. Anuj has not drafted any. For him there’s a lot of time to think about Vrinda’s career choices and the dimension where we wish her to be. I disagree. Anyways, to each his own. I am still determined to make her a doctor.

First few educational lessons that children get are the basic As, Bs and Cs of the world. In our times we just had the ABCD. Now children have ABCD with ‘phonics’. A a a for apple, b b b for ball, c c c for cat and d d d for dolI. Okay. I didn’t even know what this ‘phonics’ is until Vrinda was in my tummy. That’s when I started reading about what’s in store for me. What is going to be the first few lessons at school for her. That’s when I was introduced to ‘phonics’.  It is definitely a better way of teaching, I must say.

Lets keep aside the regular ABCD’s for some time. As a mother to be, I had many thoughts running me over. So, on a subtle winter evening in October 2012, a month before Vrinda was born, I sat down to write my own ABC’s. I sat down to sketch basic fundamentals for what and how I would want her to be. There it goes….

A - ASPIRATIONS (Aspire high)

B – BLESSINGS (Bless all and be blessed)

C – CARE (Care for the ones you love)

D – DILIGENCE (Be conscious about your work and responsibilities)

E – EXPERIENCE (Learn and then experience. Do not experience and then learn)

F – FREEDOM/FREE WILL (Use your freedom wisely. Respect the free-will given to you)

G – GIVING (Do not shy away from giving what’s yours or not yours. Give love unconditionally)

H – HELPFUL (Always lend a helping hand)

I – INSIGHTFUL (Be accurate, perceptive. Always understand and then act)

J – JOYOUS (Find happiness from small things in life. Be joyful)

K – KNOWLEDGEABLE (Acquire as much as you can. Read. Read. Read.)

L – LOVE (Give love and get love. Get love and give it in return.)

M – MOTHER (All she needs is your love and respect)

N – NAUGHTY (Be playful)

O – OUTSTANDING (Look at things with a sense of achievement. Give your best to get best in return)

P – PASSION (Give it all to what you love to do. Be passionate)

Q – QUEST (Search for answers. Do not stop till you get them)

R – RESPECT (Your elders, teachers, the feelings of your friends)

S – SELF-RELIANT (Be independent)

T – THINKER (Think hard to get your answers. Think before you speak.)

U – UNASSUMING (Be modest. Be unpretentious. Do not assume. Ask)

V – VIVACIOUS (Be my beautiful girl. Be charming. Be lively. Smile)

W – WISE (Be a good judge of right and wrong. Be discerning)

X – X-FACTOR (Be significantly different. Noteworthy. Stand out.)

Y – YOUTHFUL (Let your age not be a judge of your actions. Always be youthful.)

Z – ZEAL (Bring out that enthusiasm in your work. Dedicate all your energy. Keeps the fire burning. Keep your zeal.)

Yes,Yes I know. I had high expectations then too (one can easily make out from the choice of words I have used defining each alphabet).  And so are they right now. I know she is just two and a half and has just started her pre-school. I know there is a long way to go, a long way to walk, until she reaches all these words of wisdom. In the meaning time, as a mother I am just penning down my wishes for my child. And hoping she actually learns my ABCDs by the time she is 30. I would surely succeed as a mother that day.