Having a baby is a life event. An event which takes over all the events of one's life. An event that gives a 360 degree turn to your life, pulls the ground from beneath your feet and nothing remains same as it had ever been.
Having your first born does all the above to you. And having your second born is actually all the above multiplied by 100 or even more. You can never ever be in a position to decide how tough it is going to be down the line. Watching your first born grow up to a certain level and then preparing for a new one to come into your life is so overwhelming that at times the whole feeling leaves you breathless. Its like reaching the pinaccle of happiness and then carving a higher ground for yourself , to reach to, once again. It sure is difficult as hell, but the vision of reaching the new pinaccle just makes it all worthwhile. You can envision all that you experienced with your first born- the first smile, the first giggle, the first finger hold, the first time she said mumma, the first laughter, the first sense of motherhood and alike, and wonder the extent of happiness that you would feel when you will experience it once again.
But planning this new event is a life changing decision- for both you and your partner. For a long time you both have been loving and nurturing a child, being the centre of her world. For a long time, your child has been the centre of your world, has been a part of all that you have and all that you do. And then comes a time when you decide to step up. When you decide to add another chapter to your life. When you decide to have a new baby in your life. And that changes it all.
Now the baby is for you or for your first born is a different topic of discussion altogether. But having a baby after all is what matters , and is the decision that turns your world upside down. All the contemplation , all the reasonings take a backseat when you arrive at this one decision. There are a million of thoughts that come up - will I be able to love another one as much ? Will I be able to give as much of me and my life to the new one? Will I be able to justify my time with both the kids? Will I be able manage them? How will my equation be with my partner post the second baby? How will we spend time together? How will we work around the two kids? So on and so forth. But as they say a decisive mind is all it takes to change the world. And once you have decided on your plan for a new baby , there is no turning back.
Once you are in the race, you have to finish it. Having a new child is exactly that relay race of life, once started , it ends at the finishing line. It ends at the line where you have your baby in your hand and you are left wondering , how and where does the new leg of this race start from?! No matter how much you plan , that's some moment of truth, when you have your first born standing beside you , looking over the new born in your hand and you steal a glance with your partner and exchange the craziest of thought - now what ?!
