'Thoughts for Vrinda' - 'From my Memoir'

 

Image Courtesy Y.P. Arora

I have been writing since a long time. I don't even remember since how long. I still have a few memories of me sitting in the balcony of our Indore residence and penning down a few lines, trying to construct my first few poems.That was somewhere in the early 90's. I must be 10 or 12 then. Yes, I was that small.The love for writing has only increased since then. 

From nascent to matured - my  writing has seen highs and lows over last two decades. It has been through rough and happy times, from exciting to dull times, from positive to negative phases, from patient to angry moments. I have always liked to express and taken the help of words to document my feelings- good or bad. And if there is one thing I so badly want Vrinda to inherit from her mother's genes, it is my love for writing. I want to see her writing. Good or bad, that's not what matters. What matters is that she writes, that she thinks, that she weaves, that she constructs, that she molds, that she let go of all her inhibitions about writing and let the words flow...

My parents are around, and my father got me my old diaries, journals and notes from my school and college days. It was so nostalgic and amazing to turn those pages once again. As I read my entries, I thought of documenting them for my little girl. She might understand them a little later in her life, but they will definitely teach her a thing or two.

1. FOOD FOR THOUGHT (23.01.2001)

"What are you thinking right now? If your thoughts shape your life, would you want what you were just thinking to become true for you? If its a thought of worry or anger or hurt or revenge or fear, how do you think this thought will come back to you...?

Imagine yourself in line at a buffet in a luxurious hotel, where instead of dishes of food, there are dishes of thoughts. You get to choose any and all the thoughts you wish. These thoughts will create your future experiences.

Now, if you choose thoughts that will create problems and pains, that's rather foolish. It's like choosing the food that always makes you ill. We may do this once or twice, but as soon as we learn which food upsets our bodies, we stay away from them. It's the same with thoughts. Let us stay away from thoughts that create anxiety and pains and upset our minds.

My logical mind does not understand the importance of having those thoughts in my mind which always result in hurt, misery and sadness. But still at times I find myself ( and a few people that I know) opt for the same path. Why do we choose to forget that there is another path that takes us to happiness - the path of happy and positive thinking ."

2. MOODS & MISERY

Image Courtesy Joginder Sharma

 Nobody likes misery. Why not analyze yourself next time you are in a mood? You will see how you are willingly, willfully making yourself miserable. And while you are doing so, others around you feel the unpleasantness of your state of mind...You must remove moods from your mental mirror.

One should introspect each day in order to understand the nature of her mood, how to create it and correct it, if it is a harmful one. Perhaps you find yourself in an indifferent state of mind. No matter what is suggested, you are not interested. It is necessary then to make a conscious effort to create some positive interest. Beware of indifference, which ossifies your progress in life by paralyzing your will power. 

Suppose your mood is a conviction that you have failed at all levels, and can never succeed at achieving your goal. Analyze the problem and see if you have really made all the efforts you could have.

Or perhaps your mood is discouragement over a loss of goal. You must try to apply the laws of faith and keep trying again in order to re-reach your goal.

There would be times when your mood will come in the form of a mountain of denial. Denial that no one loves you. Denial that you are no understood and is all alone. Calm down. Talk to those who you trust. Ask them about the things those have done for you, whose love you doubt at that moment.You will definitely gain ground. Love remains in the heart always, it might take a backseat at times and choose to hide away. But believe, it is always there.

You can conquer your moods, no matter how terrible they seem. Make up your mind that you are not going to be moody anymore;and if a mood comes in spite of your resolve, analyze the course that brought it on, and do something constructive about it!